3. 少写长句,尽可能使段落简短,不浪费空间。(Don’t waste space, instead of long sentences, run in short paragraphs when possible): 把握英语文字的能力不够时,写长句子很易使句子结构混乱、语意累赘不淸、句子头重脚轻或头轻脚重,甚易引起误解或出现歧义,甚至与原意完全相反。
(差)It is dangerous that you put your head out of the window of the train when the train is moving. 火车在行驶中你把头伸出车窗外是危险的。
(较好) It is dangerous to put (your) head out of the window of the train when it is moving.
(差)The hour is noon on a perfect summer day in Beijing.
On every street and avenue, new buildings are going up.
Beneath the skeletal girders, construction workers sit, squat and sprawl, munching food, ****ing up coca, swilling beer.
(较好)The hour is noon on a perfect summer day in Beijing. On every street and avenue, new buildings are going up. Beneath the skeletal girders, construction workers sit, squat and sprawl, munching food, ****ing up coca, swilling beer.
(差) He negotiated with a male physician whether he should admit to the hospital for further treatment. 他与一位男医生商量他(是病人还是医生?)是否应当住院进一步治疗。
(较好) He negotiated with a male physician and asked if he should admit to the hospital for further treatment.
4. 变化句子的结构以避免过多面目相似的“名词-动词”或”形容词-名词”排句。(Vary sentence structure so as to avoid too many similar noun-verb or adjective-noun combs): 这种像“乐队”似的句子排列出现,显得文字单调死板,使人不忍卒读,更谈不到文采飞扬了。
(差)She was twenty years old and so was her boy friend. She was Catholic and so was her boy friend. They make a congenial and attractive couple; they were relatively happy together. 她20岁,她男朋友也是20岁。她是天主教徒,她男朋友也是天主教徒。他们是意气相投令人称羡的一对,他们在一起挺很快乐的。
(较好)Both she and her boy friend were twenty and Catholic. A congenial, attractive couple, they were relatively happy together.
5. 保持前后时态一致。(Be aware of sticking to one tense in sentences): 写作中最常见的失误之一就是段落中动词时态的不一致,引起混乱或误解。写作者必须搞清叙述中的人称、时态甚至语态等,搞清楚活动的时间、前后顺序。一般对已发生的事物用过去式、现在完成或过去完成式,将要发生的事物用将来式或用将来进行式,作者的结论或评论用现在式。这本来是人所共知的原则,然而在具体写作中,往往受所述事物的纠缠或中文的影响而发生困惑,拿不准时态。
(差)“So, in that case, you can’t go with me?” said Davis. “Yes, I can’t go to the movies tonight”
“Why not?” John wants to know the cause.
(较好)”So, in that case, you can’t go with me?” says Davis. “No, I can’t go to the movies tonight”
“Why not?” John wants to know the cause。